Part 11:  Off to the Show

I don't often go to shows. If there's an overnight stay involved, I can't go because I have to take care of the dogs at home. There are other reasons for a certain lack of enthusiasm, as this typical show morning illustrates:

2:23 AM: Awaken to sound of kennel dogs barking at critter beyond fence line.
2:24 AM: Get out of bed. Call out window to tell dogs to shut up.
2:37 AM: Dogs bark again.
2:38 AM: Get out of bed. Notify dogs of their limited life expectancy if they don't shut up.
4:30 AM: Alarm goes off. Sit up. Instantly regret it.
4:31 AM: Try to remember name, location, reason for waking up at this hour on a Saturday.
4:32 AM: Visit to Throne Room.
4:33 AM: Dress in dog grubbies, wake wife up.
4:34 AM: Let house dogs out to exercise.
4:35 AM: Sternly inform males of their lack of decorum in peeing on Mommy's flowers.
5:00 AM: Take cup of coffee upstairs to bedroom. Wake wife up.
5:10 AM: Go upstairs, wake wife up.
5:15 AM: Sit down with newspaper, orange juice, bagel.
5:16 AM: Read obituaries, relieved that my name isn't in there despite present condition.
5:22 AM: Wake wife up.
5:25 AM: Let house dogs back inside.
5:30 AM: Wake wife up.
5:45 AM: Wake wife up. Listen to irritable lecture on the importance of waking her up on time.
6:03 AM: Open van doors to load crates.
6:04 AM: Chase Lacey out of van so crates can be loaded.
6:05 AM: Load Lacey, Satin, and equipment into van.
6:15 AM: Shower, shave, dress.
6:36 AM: Informed by wife that van is packed incorrectly.
6:38 AM: Echoes from discussion with wife over packing finally die away.
6:40 AM: Remove equipment from van.
6:53 AM: Finish reloading van. Load Lacey and Satin again.
7:00 AM: Leave house.
7:46 AM: First words spoken since leaving house.
7:53 AM: Stop at Burger King for breakfast.
8:06 AM: Sigh, give in to guilt waves, give hash brown to Lacey.
8:10 AM: Sigh more heavily, give remainder of bacon, egg and cheese croissant to Satin.
9:16 AM: Arrive at show site.

And our day, really, has just begun.

The show site is usually a county or state fairground, or the town's "convention center." Renting anything grander is beyond the means of all but the wealthiest clubs. You usually pay a few dollars for parking, which, you soon find out, is rather limited. Lots of room is taken up by huge RVs and motor homes, many of which look like land dreadnoughts and next to which our little Class C vehicle looks like a pygmy.

One of the advantages of having an RV is that you can do your pre-show grooming right there without having to haul your equipment into one of the buildings and try to find space to set up. There are no more terrifying words than, "Go find a place to set up." People, dogs, and equipment are stuffed into every available space. Electrical outlets are so festooned with extension cords and multi-plug adapters that it's a miracle there's not a blackout of the entire town.

There's lots of activity at a show. People hurrying back and forth, grooming their dogs, going to or coming from the ring. The vendors are doing a brisk business. The sound of conversations fills the air.

What you won't hear a lot of is barking. Show dogs are trained to be remarkably well behaved. They take in all the hustle and bustle of a show with admirable detachment. Dogs requiring lots of detailed grooming - like Standard Poodles and Old English Sheepdogs - lie quietly on grooming tables without any restraint waiting for their owners to return.

Whether we're in the building or by our motor home, we set up the grooming table, dryer, and show box. The dogs may have gotten a bath the night before, but they're always touched up before they're shown. Oddly enough, the more heavily coated of our dogs need less grooming. They're spritzed with water, blown dry, and brushed. Miss Lacey, with her sparser coat, may be completely regroomed, moussed, and resculpted, a process taking the better part of an hour.

The heavy travel collars are removed and lightweight cloth collars and leashes put on. My lovely bride touches up her own grooming, stuffs some freeze-dried liver into her pocket and we head off to the ring.

On the way, we may be extravagant and buy a show catalog for a few dollars. A show catalog is a small book with all the essential information on the show. On the first page is the name of show-giving club, the date of show, the statement, "This show is held under American Kennel Club rules", and the AKC logo. The next few pages are largely a reprint of the judging program, with the names and addresses of all the judges, an index of breeds, rings, and times, and the program of judging.

It also lists all the dogs entered that day. Here's a typical entry for Miss Lacey

26 Ch Soyara's Chantilly Lace JC. HM 76323403. 12-19-97. Breeder: Prudence Hlatky and Sabrina Rhodes. By Ch Rossak of Enfield - Ch Soyara's Misleading Lady Esar. Bitch. Owner: Prudence and Greg Hlatky, 6197 Morrow-Rossburg Road, Morrow, OH 45142.

In order, this is Lacey's armband number, her registered name (the "Ch" indicating her champion status, the "JC" is an AKC field title she earned), her AKC registration number, the date of her birth, the breeders of record, her sire and dam, her sex (because she's in Best of Breed competition), and the names and address of her owners of record.

The entries are catalogued by Variety Groups (always in the order Sporting, Hound, Working, Terrier, Toy, Non-Sporting, Herding), breeds in each of the groups in alphabetical order, and classes. Class (non-champion) dogs are listed by armband number in their class, always in the order Puppy, 12-18 Month, Novice, Bred-by-Exhibitor, American-Bred, and Open. The class bitches are listed the same way. Then there's the non-regular classes, then the special (champion) dogs in Best of Breed competition. Of course, depending on the entry, not every class is represented on a given day. The schedule of championship points for the breed is listed along with each breed.

When we get to the ring, I go over to the ring steward (an individual whose function I'll explain later) and get our armbands - a 4" x 6" white card printed with the armband number of the dog in large numerals - and a couple of rubber bands to hold it on. The armband is worn on the left arm with the number facing out for the judge and steward to read.

With all that done, we now wait to go into the ring.